Coach Notes

Coach Notes

Questions and answers

Greetings, dear readers! I know it’s been a while since you heard from me, but I have a good excuse. No, I wasn’t sailing around the world or exploring exotic lands. I was just dealing with some life challenges, like a series of medical issues in my family. And work has been great, but a little bit hectic and demanding. 

But don’t worry, I’m still here in my cozy office, helping my clients overcome their self-sabotage habits. I just had to take a break from posting for a bit. (You know what they say, if a tree falls in a forest and no one posts about it, does it make a sound?)

But now I’m back, and I’m so excited to share with you some amazing insights and tips that I’ve learned from my clients and fellow coaches. As we approach Thanksgiving week, I want to express my gratitude for your support and loyalty. You are the reason I do what I do, and I appreciate you so much.

In this newsletter, I’m going to answer some of the most interesting and helpful questions that my clients have asked me or each other in the Bootcamps lately. I’ll also share my thoughts on each one, but keep in mind that the beauty of the Bootcamp pod is that everyone contributes their own wisdom and perspective, which makes the discussion richer and more diverse.

So, without further ado, let’s dive into the questions!

Q: How can I tell whether I am judging myself in a harmful way or whether I am just being discerning in thinking about how I might improve? 

A: The easiest way to tell is by checking your emotions. If you are feeling negative emotions, such as anger, annoyance, guilt, shame, defensiveness, or anxiety, then you are judging yourself in a way that is not serving you. But if you are feeling positive emotions, such as curiosity, excitement, optimism, gratitude, or joy, then you are in a sage state of finding the gift in your ability to improve something. A quick way to do this is to ask yourself if you are acting from love or fear. Saboteurs always drive fear.

Q: I never realized how often my inner judge criticized me, and how horrible it makes me feel. Is that normal?

A: Yes, it is normal. We all have saboteurs, and they can be enormously powerful. On average, most people spend from half an hour to several hours per day in negative thought patterns that waste time and energy and are harmful to themselves and sometimes to others too. We can’t get rid of that inner judge, but we can turn the volume down to a whisper with PQ mental fitness training and strategies.

Q: What is the best way to tame my worst Saboteur (Name the Saboteur, Avoider, Controller, etc.)?

A: We call it a PQ Rep: Focus for 10-30 seconds on purely physical sensation, for example, just breathing, or feeling the texture of an object or your own fingers or clothing, the temperature of something, seeing an object in great detail, hearing noises far or close to you, tasting something, walking, and feeling your feet strike the ground. Any of these things will work, or your own ideas, if they are purely physical sensations. After doing a PQ rep, your brain will be in a calmer state, and you can apply my specific saboteur strategy for that saboteur. There is a different one for each saboteur. Contact me for PQ Coaching to get more saboteur specific strategies.

Q: Are saboteurs related to substance abuse?

A: Yes, I think so. Saboteurs make any situation worse and help us feel stuck or trapped in the difficulties of life. If a person is pre-wired for addiction and is feeling stuck, saboteurs act to keep them in that pattern. There are PQ coaches that specialize in coaching for substance abuse and many other specific issues. I can offer referrals to specialist coaches on request.

Q: Are saboteurs related to losing weight or making other changes for health?

A: Yes, they are. One specific tip about weight loss and saboteurs is that if someone is trying to lose weight and they do PQ reps on tasting food, this causes them to eat more slowly, and mindfully, allowing them to enjoy each bite and each meal more. Often, people lose weight more easily just by using this practice. Mental fitness also increases confidence and helps you to love yourself more right now, not only when you achieve a desired weight. Confidence and improved self-image is an important part of the journey for any healthy changes you want to make.

Q: PQ reps feel great, after just a week of them consistently, I feel differently and miss them on my days “off.” Can I do my own during the days off?

A: YES! You certainly can, and I encourage you to do so. You can log those into the app as well to track your progress if you want to. Do PQ reps in the gym or “in the wild” meaning your own invented reps that occur naturally in your life, such as feeling the carpet under your toes when you walk, or the warmth of the coffee mug in your hand. The 36 daily PQ reps during Bootcamp are the minimum needed to rewire your brain for mental fitness during the bootcamp, but if you want to do more, 100 reps per day puts you in an even better state. Calmer, clearer, better able to face any challenge resiliently. Thanks for asking

Sage Greetings,


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